1. When describing your favorite types of movies, don’t give a genre. Instead, give an existential quote about life relating to film. For example:
Friend: What kind of movies do you like?
You: “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.” –Charlie Chaplin
Friend:
2. Remember, the more popular the fandom, the more overrated it is. All the normies like their summer blockbusters and ’80s teen movies, you like weird experimental Swedish films.
3. Haven’t seen a movie? Smile, nod and say something intellectual, then leave before you’re discovered to be a liar.
4. They are not “movies” they are “films”. Give this look to those who say otherwise:
5. You must possess knowledge of at least ONE foreign film no one has heard about.
Here is a list to get you started.
6. Upon reference to said film, scoff and say “It’s okay, not a lot of people watch GOOD movies.”
7. Wear an essential wardrobe prop to let others know about your extensive knowledge of films. Example: big glasses, beret or dad hat with “director” written on it. Remember the goal: look like an old-timey director.
8.) Don’t be a philistine, remember that it is called “visiting the cinema” not “going to the movies.”
9. When you visit the cinema, you comment after every film trailer in a loud enough voice that people can hear your disapproval.
10. Your favorite movie list must include the following: two Academy Award winning films, one made by a famous director, one sci-fi film, one foreign film, one black and white film and at minimum one Meryl Streep film.
11. You call it the “The Academy Awards” not “The Oscars”. When someone refers to it as “The Oscars” let out a slight chuckle.
12. You say you respect and love classic films even though you only made it through the first half of the four hours long “Gone With the Wind”.
13. You only read books about cinematography, directing, actors and their drama and Hollywood in the 1950s.
14. When arriving at the cinema, you claim to know the best seats because you go so often.
15. You only have to watch one documentary, but tell people you’ve watched about four or five.
16. Know one useless fact about Hollywood before the 1940s. Personal favorite: “Oh, did you know it’s technically called “Hollywoodland“.
17. Don’t forget that you are flawless and everyone knows less about films than you do, no matter who it is. If you are outsmarted, simply say, “I’m just so tired of all the films I watched yesterday.”
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