Remember that time when I wrote that cute little story about how exes can be friends? I would like to retract that statement. LOL, my bad.
Due to a recent turn of events, I have changed my mind; exes can NOT be friends.
I repeat, exes can NOT be friends.
Of course there are always the exceptions to the rule, but I think as a whole, if two people break up it should stay that way. It can be so tough breaking up with someone, especially if you were with them for a long time. But really, it’s for the best.
Haha, sorry but no.
We all have different situations with our histories and issues with our exes.
There’s that ex who won’t leave you alone, there’s the ex who constantly thinks there’s a chance that you will get back together; I’ll give you a perfect example of “one of those” exes: Drake.
As much as I love him, the dude does not take break-ups well (remember Marvin’s Room anyone?). He’s the male version of Taylor Swift. Let’s hope that they never find themselves together. However, the break-up songs would be top notch.
To demonstrate why staying friends with your ex is a bad idea, I used some Drake inspiration to better illustrate the problems that may arise:
You forgot the reason why you broke up.
The most obvious reason can sometimes be not-so-obvious when you’re not over the person, or if it’s been a while since you broke up. When time has gone by, you forget about all of the reasons why you broke up in the first place—that can be problematic. If you try and stay friends, you might start thinking about all of the fun you’re having together. One of you may start to think “why did we even break up?”
Someone might catch some feelings… (again).
One of you might catch feelings, and those feelings might not be reciprocated. This can create a roller-coaster of emotions, plus some major drama. Or one of you may have ulterior motives. Do you both want to be friends, or does one of you want something more? Why stimulate the cycle again?
You have to ask: “Are we actually friends?”
Okay, but are you really friends? Or are you acting like a couple but with the title of “friends?” Wait, did you just call me babe? Things can get confusing.
You become situational friends.
Sometimes you go through things in your life and you just really need to talk to someone about it. Your ex can be someone who knows you extremely well. If before you both of you used to talk to each other about everything, it might be tempting to want to talk to them again. But a friendship isn’t only about talking to someone when you need help or need to vent every few months. Go to your real friends for venting. Believe me, they “just get you” too.
You/they have a jealous boyfriend/girlfriend
If both of you are in relationships, or even just one of you, why are you even still hanging out? You have your romantic counterpart already! Plus, even if your bae isn’t the slightest bit jealous, it still isn’t cool. You have other friends…
One of you starts “playing games.”
Sometimes you might get lonely and want to hang out with someone you are comfortable with. If that’s the case, think twice (and hopefully your ex will do the same). The moment will pass, but it’s not cool to play with someone’s emotions like that.
Next time your ex comes around or you start thinking about calling them up, think about it first. Is it worth it? Probs not. Just say goodbye. You don’t have to be mean about it, but unless you’re Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, recognize it was a part of your life and then move on.
If you’re reading this, it’s too late (TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX).