Summer has officially begun, marking glorious days of leisure under the blazing sun, lounging poolside to work on that tan and best of all, generic films with completely plausible plots.
We’ve already provided you with a foolproof, step-by-step guide to ensure the perfect Valentine’s Day back in February. To commemorate the official first day of summer , below is an infallible guide that needs to be followed prudently in order to ensure the perfect summer. Do not leave a single thing out.
Fall in love with your next-door neighbor
This is the neighbor whom you converse with on a daily basis from the balcony of your room because both of your respective balconies face each other in abnormally close proximity for some reason. The contractor who constructed your suburban home had no concept of personal space or privacy, which consequently resulted in you falling in love with the neighbor next door who you grew up with, experienced the trials and tribulations of high school with and who saw you when you were invisible.
Attend summer camp and reunite with a long-lost sibling
Attend summer camp equipped with lodge-like cabins and do generic summer camp things, such as swimming in the lake and toasting S’mores. You’ll then meet someone who looks exactly like you in every single aspect but for some reason, you both won’t realize that you share the same genetics until like, the last possible minute when it’s time to return to your respective homes despite sharing the same characteristics and birthday. Oh, and one of you will inherit a British accent.
Give an underdog a makeover in an attempt to help them woo his/her crush
During the problematic process of changing this person’s appearance to better fit the standardized norms of what constitutes as attractive, you’ll eventually realize that this person was truly beautiful all along. This person will then realize the crush he/she was trying to woo in the first place is a total jerk, then resort back to their normal selves at the end of the night and you’ll be like, “Oh my gosh, you’ve always been enough—even though it was my idea to change you in the first place.”
Drive down the highway with the top down and contemplate life
A catchy alternative folk song will play from the car stereo as you’re driving along the winding roads with the ocean in the backdrop. Your hair will blow behind you as you’re driving a red corvette with its top down. You’re deep in thought about something life altering.
Meet and fall in love with someone while vacationing in another country
Somewhere along the course of the summer, you’ll take a family trip to some fabulous, foreign country, meet a beautiful local and fall madly in love. There’ll be a steamy love scene with a corny Jack Johnson song playing in the background. At summer’s end, when you need to return to the states, you’ll emotionally say goodbye to each other. Everything turns out OK, though, because you return home as a new person with a new perspective on life and love.
Attend an overpriced music festival someplace in the desert
How else will you compile aesthetically pleasing photos of desert life and #OOTDs (outfit of the days) for Instagram? Your followers won’t want to see images of you lounging in your underwear at home, accompanied with a family-sized bag of Hot Cheeto Puffs. Instead, dance along the festival grounds of some desert city with a giant Ferris wheel looming in the background, all while you rock an $85 crop top from American Apparel because life is fleeting and you only live once.
Will you be following these infallible steps for the perfect summer? What is your favorite way to spend the summer? Share with us using the hashtag #CampusCropChat on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, and be sure to follow us on Snapchat @ASICPP.