Love is in the air, and it’s impossible to not have this day on our minds: Valentine’s Day. And what better way to mark this holiday than with cliché romance films that totally capture the gist of love and relationships. Really. Because the plots depicted in these films in no means yield bizarre expectations that foster forlorn results.
Below is a foolproof, step-by-step guide to ensure the perfect Valentine’s Day – told by everything we’ve ever learned from romance films. Follow this guide prudently if you take Feb. 14 in the least bit seriously. Do not leave a single thing out.
Make out in the rain
It isn’t really Valentine’s Day unless you take part in a full-blown make-out session in the rain. Go on—get soaked from head to toe as you embrace each other with tight arms. Contract pneumonia because you’re only young once. Your insurance is totally bound to cover the cost of a doctor’s visit.
Go horseback riding
Once you recover from your cold from that romantic make-out session in the rain, go horseback riding through the countryside or a nice vineyard. Proceed to get into an argument (about anything really), then angrily ride off on your horse while your lover hastily calls out your name and tries to chase after you.
Ride a gondola
Go on an evening gondola ride through the Venice canals as a man in stripes paddles you along the water. Stare lovingly into each other’s eyes and share a tender kiss. The man in the stripes will lovingly sigh at the sight of young love.
Meet the wealthy parents of the person you’re dating
Put on nice clothing and meet the wealthy parents of the person you’re dating. Ask to use the restroom so you could wash up before food is served, then return to overhear Mr. and Mrs. Has-Money call you trash and not good enough for their child. Feel hurt as you hide behind the frame of the door.
Discuss your love woes with a friend at a coffee shop
Discuss all the insecurities you’re feeling with your best friend. This person will either be in the form of Jonah Hill or Judy Greer, because they’re usually the token, silly best friends in these types of narratives.
Dance in the middle of the street
Once you recover from the emotional scarring of meeting the parents, dance in the middle of the street as the streetlights change color under the gleaming moon. Have a total disregard for oncoming traffic and the possibility of having to be scraped off the pavement later from being run over – the only moment that matters is now. Young love is truly beautiful.
Stop your lover from getting on a plane
Somewhere along the course of the day, something will drastically change your relationship and your lover will board a plane to another country forever. Hastily run through the airport to prevent this from happening. Stop your lover right as they’re about to board. Profess your undying love, and the entire airport will clap in solidarity upon your embrace and kiss.
Will you be following these infallible steps for the perfect Valentine’s Day? Share with us using the hashtag #CampusCropChat on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, and remember to follow us on Snapchat @asicpp.