There’s nothing more heartbreaking than the return of back-to-school commercials, with their patronizing upbeat music and happy-go-lucky children dancing alongside minimalist shots of on-sale erasers and Crayola items.
It’s such a harsh snap back to reality, toppled with school bell sound effects and weirdly fashion-forward children. Why is a tiny school child toting around a messenger bag and wearing an expensive-looking leather jacket, and more importantly, why are they much more fashion forward than I’ll ever be?
In my day, it was backpacks with wheels that aggressively flipped over whenever you ran, and light-up Sketchers from Payless. They’ll never know the struggle.
Below are the stages that accompany the daunting realization of having to go back to school, as told by “Friends” gifs.
The summer’s still young, okay? It doesn’t matter what those fashion-forward children in the Target commercials are saying. School is practically light years away. Let’s do ALL the beginning-of-summer activities in pure bliss because life is short and beautiful.
Life is terrible and ugly. How could school possibly be approaching so quickly when it was the beginning of June just yesterday? Suddenly, every single thing that has angered you since birth boils to the surface because you’re just that grumpy. Why couldn’t Johnny and Winona work it out? Did Dumbledore even really care about Harry? How could Walt deliberately poison the young child of Jessie’s girlfriend?
What could be done to turn this situation around? There must be something that could prolong summer just a bit longer. The “what ifs” and “if onlys” come into play as you attempt to grapple onto what littleness remains of the days of freedom.
The penultimate stage: the blues – the summer time sadness that Lana Del Rey understands all too well. You’re perusing Amazon or Chegg for required textbooks as Bon Iver softly plays in the background. You pretend it’s raining for added dramatic effect because it generally doesn’t rain in September, but you just can’t catch a break.
The final stage that eases you into the fall: acceptance. You’ve come to terms with returning to days of routine and over-priced parking permits. You ultimately fall into a rhythm in your schedule, scoping out shortcuts to class and estimation times of coffee runs. Your summertime blues are but a distant memory to be renewed next year.
Have you gone through these stages yet? Do you find yourself stuck in one of the stages above? Are you, too, still angry about Dumbledore’s seemingly lack of empathy for others, apparent in his quickness to accept Harry’s ultimate death? Share with us using the hashtag #CampusCropChat on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, and remember to follow us on Snapchat @asicpp!